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The Creation of Competent Couples®
Dr. Isenberg also works internationally as a corporate consultant and has trained thousands of people in corporations across the U.S., Canada, England, Germany, Austria, Denmark, the Netherlands, Switzerland, France, South Korea, and Australia. His areas of expertise include communication skills, listening and assertiveness, positive influence and negotiation skills, managing change, stress-mastery, conflict-management, team-building, and working with differences. He brings an unusual blend of the sensitivity, insight, and depth of a seasoned therapist with the capacity to train people in an exciting and results-oriented manner.
In both clinical and corporate settings Dr. Isenberg observed that the overwhelming majority of people have had very little training in interpersonal skills. Typically, we learn such skills through trial and error from our earliest relationships and through thousands of hours of role modeling from parents, caretakers, family members, and friends. In this fashion we learn ways of dealing with conflicts, handling differences, expressing emotions, developing closeness and so forth.
The role modeling received often reflects family patterns passed down from generation to generation. All too often, these patterns contain dysfunctional behaviors which interfere with satisfaction and success in relationships. How conflict is handled in many homes provides us with examples of the types of dysfunctional behaviors frequently modeled for us as children:
On the other hand, there are skills which have a high probability of creating strong and satisfying relationships which have been carefully researched and refined by mental health professionals, social scientists, and communication skills experts. They are trainable skills and people are learning them in different contexts.
In corporate settings in which he trained Dr. Isenberg repeatedly observed increased self-confidence and personal satisfaction, and enhanced job effectiveness in large numbers of people who received high quality interpersonal skills training. As a result of his observations, he conceived the idea of applying successful methods of interpersonal skills training to the arena of intimate relationships. Over the course of six years he refined a set of skills which, from his clinical experience, were of primary importance in the creation of deeply intimate, satisfying, and successful relationships. He then incorporated these skills into his clinical work with married and unmarried couples. The response of couples trained in these skills was and continues to be excellent.
People reported tremendous satisfaction and relief in having a communication framework that supported the growth of intimacy in their relationships as well as an honoring of their differences. They experienced the skills as providing a foundation for openness, trust, sensitivity, empowerment, and growth. When feeling at the mercy of an "ocean of emotion" they now had methods of voicing their feelings in ways that were likely to be heard and respected.
Over time it became clear that these skills were extremely useful for couples to master, regardless of whether or not they were in marital or couples therapy. The skills alone could transform the quality of relationships by building a strong foundation for enhanced communication, deepened intimacy, and effectiveness in working together to face life's challenges. For those in therapy the skills greatly enhanced the likelihood of a successful outcome.
The skills were therefore organized by Dr. Isenberg into two formats that could be offered to the public: as a weekly course with 3 hour sessions or as a concentrated week-end workshop.
This was the birth of COMPETENT COUPLES®. Currently, it is being presented in the greater Boston area and can therefore be attended by people willing to travel to this area for a week-end. If you are interested in learning how to attend, please click on the "To Reserve A Space" link. 
Steven J. Isenberg, Ed.D. is a licensed counseling and consulting psychologist in private practice in Arlington, Massachusetts. He has more than 30 years experience working with couples, individuals, and groups with a wide variety of therapeutic issues. His training in the methods of personal and interpersonal healing and growth has included : psycho-analytic theory, gestalt therapy, bio-energetics, Reichian and neo-Reichian therapy, behavioral psychology, and alternative methods of healing. In his work, he continuously has explored the integration of psychological and interpersonal development with spiritual evolution.
These are but a few of the dozens of dysfunctional ways of handling conflict that are role- modeled repeatedly and passed down from generation to generation. In this fashion people learn to recreate needless suffering and dissatisfaction in relationships.